“My husband is a chauvinistic bastard.” With a straightforward one liner I stepped outside the shoes of a male sophomore college student and into that of a frustrated young lady. How simple it is to change your mindset, your image, your whole “self” just by creating a chat room account named “SarahJ” and starting a string of vitriolic verbal attacks on your “husband’s” laziness and incompetence! But of course that’s not what I did. It would be awfully silly. No, instead I started out slow in a chat room for just married couples (they have a chat room for every conceivable group nowadays) and carefully constructed “Sarah,” a nurse in Wyoming who recently married to someone whom she did not really love. (If you think this deception is slightly/very creepy, I completely agree. But keep in mind that this is for an academic purpose)
Sarah, my two hour temporary identity in a chat room, shows the true spirit of a modern feminist. She wanted to save lives, to change the world for the better, to find true love, etc. I did my absolute best to keep myself in character and craft the most believable details. I found it useful to use run on sentences to deliver deeply emotional statements, but spit out short and quick insults for criticism. I introduced myself as Sarah, who has recently become more and more disillusioned with her husband of two months. My “husband,” John, is unemployed and is exerting a less than ideal effort to find another job. I watched my words and tried to be convincingly ambivalent in my “thoughts” that I shared with the chat room – should I leave him? should I try to change him? or should I just accept him as who he is?
To elicit reactions from other chat room members, I described myself early on as a strong-minded woman who does not like to be relegated to the role of a supportive housewife. I want to be independent and successful. I am confident, proud, and opinionated. Additionally, being pro-choice shows my liberal attitude, and a penchant for “clubbing” demonstrates my ability to socialize well with others. Ayn Rand is Sarah’s favorite philosopher – in fact she is quite sophisticated and well-educated in many fields. Overall, it is clear that “Sarah” was projecting her “ideal self” to the chat room. However underneath she is insecure, frequently indecisive, and fairly neurotic. This “true self” is revealed when I told the other members that I had difficulties making up my mind about the marriage, I was afraid to change career, and I could not tolerate many minor issues in a relationship.
My experiment was quite successful. Many people replied sympathetically and offered a wide range of advice, ranging from “go cheat on him you’re better than he anyway” to “you should love him because love is strong enough to change anyone.” (Quotes not exact, I had to edit them so they could be comprehensible. Although the Internet has ushered us into a new Digital Era, it unfortunately skipped the Proper Grammar and Spelling Era)
I feel that my experience should be examined with both “multiple selves” and “self-presentation tactics.” The “multiple selves” aspect is the overarching influence over Sarah’s overall behavior, showing how she tries to be what she has read in books and seen in other media, but in truth she cannot fully realize those ideals. Self-presentation tactics dictated her specific actions and words. Sarah chose the most “positive” words to describe herself, exhibited liberal and strong attitudes that are stereotyped to be prevalent among young women, and pushed for a social association with the “clubbing crowd” that likes to live a fun and exciting life.
Toward the end I felt increasingly uncomfortable under the disguise. People started to ask about our sex life and my personal psyche, which I was not completely prepared to deal with. I discreetly exited the chat room, not with a bang but a whimper, claiming that dinner had to be made. I somewhat regret projecting such a complex and strong personality, as it proved to be quite difficult to sustain, and I was left with two minds about the ethical implications of deceiving all those people. However, the experience was exhilarating at least and provided unexpected entertainment. (One lady seriously suggested me to craft a Voodoo doll to force my husband into working, and quite a few suggested that I should try dating women instead.)
My comments:
http://comm245brown.blogspot.com/2007/09/3-creepiest-experience-ever.html#comment-6985014499579317205
http://comm245brown.blogspot.com/2007/09/3-deception-down-under.html#comment-8316022416550526601
2 comments:
Zeyu you put quite a lot of work into crafting such an online identity! Good job. I am surprised that these online chat room participants accepted your story without "looking up" other aspects of your online identity. I liked how you carefully designed how SarahJ would present herself (with positive details about her self but negative details about her husband and their relationship). You described a lot about how you delivered SarahJ's story to the chat room audience, but I am curious about how other participants dealt with you and managed their impressions of you. Could you sense any negative or positive vibes among the female and male chatters? And after reading other gender-switching experiences, I saw that many online people wanted to meet the people with whom they were chatting. Did anyone in your chat room ask to meet you at one of your clubs or other social venues?
Zeyu this is so funny. Your introduction really grabbed me. I think it is really interesting how you not only made up another identity, but was able to distinguish between her true self and her ideal self. I am wondering how you chose what aspects of Sarah's personality were a part of her true self that she was trying to hide...do you think if Sarah was real her insecurities about her marriage could be from her strong feminist believes? I am really impressed that you were able to keep role playing for a full two hours, I wonder if the questions at the end about your personal psyche could be from suspicious people lol.
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