5: Nothing Like Family

My brother, Scott, and I have always been very close. We're only 15 months apart in age so we have always shared similar interests. Two years ago, my brother moved away to school in Pennsylvania, about 5 1/2 hours from home, and last year I moved away. Both of us were very busy with school and sports so couldn't pick up the phone and talk to each other as much as we would like. Fortunately for us, we found a different aletrnative. We began sending emails to each other about 4 or 5 times a week and would talk on AIM or MSN messenger if we were both online doing homework. When he lived at home the two of us would never use CMC to interact, so this was definitely a change for both of us. Oddly enough, our relationship in certain ways improved and we have begun sharing a closer bond than ever before. Online, he was able to open up (although he would never admit it to his friends) and express himself in ways he had never done before. This example can relate perfectly to two of Wallace's attraction factors.

Common Ground - Wallace states that common ground is a huge factor in online attraction. In other words, you tend to be more attracted to those who share the same beliefs, assumptions and presuppositions as you. Scott and I have always had quite a bit in common, but it really wasn't until these past two years that we truly realized just how similar our beliefs and interests were. We would talk about every NHL team, their success and their players. We both followed hockey very closely and would look forward to talking about the games mostly through email. It also wasn't until the past 2 years that we realized how similar our music interest was. We would tell each other to download a specific song and the other would most likely already have it on their computer under 'Favourites". Scott and I would talk about classes, movies, TV shows and pretty much anything you could name. The more we talked about our specific interests and beliefs, the closer we became. I had never really spent that much time listening to his music, or talking to him about movies, but through email and AIM, we realized just how much we shared the same interests and beliefs in almost everything. We became closer as a result.

Disinhibtion - Wallace states that the increase in self-disclosure results in higher online attraction. My brother and I had never been ones to share too much emotion with each other. We preferred to laugh, joke around and kick around a soccer ball rather than open up and express feelings. Once he moved away, I realized how much I missed him and how I never really tell him how much he means to me. It was much easier for me to open up through CMC than in person, and he found it the same. We would talk about stresses with school and sports, and how juggling the two was very tough. Since he moved away from home first, I would talk to him whenever I missed home and he helped me adapt to living on my own. He expressed how much he missed home when he first went to school, which he of course would never have admitted in person. Whenever he had girlfriend trouble he would turn to me for advice - something he had never done in the past. We were opening up to each other about personal information in a way in which we had never done before. We became much closer and confided in each other more than ever before.

At first I thought the fact that my brother and I barely had time to call each other once a week would affect our relationship negatively. In fact, because of CMC, and our constant access to the computer, our relationship grew and became stronger than ever. We got to know different aspects of each other that we had never seen before and took our relationship to a new level. The online connection that we share is now transferring into our FtF interactions and we are able to open up more and more to each other. CMC allowed me to discover different aspects of my brother which is a key factor in why we are so close today.