I grew up about 15 minutes away from my cousin Jordan's high school. Jordan and I happen to be the same age, and look more like twin sisters than cousins, but that's an entirely different story. As one might expect, since we live so close to one another, we'd hang out more like friends would than relatives. So it was through Jordan that I met Louis, a friend of mine who I've had for several years. Louis is from my cousin's town so he also didn't go to my high school, and lived a drive, albeit a short drive, away. Louis and I met when we were in middle school, so initially driving to hang out was completely out of the question; our friendship was always very dependent on CMC (Computer Mediated Communication). Throughout the years, graduating high school, and leaving home for college, Louis and I have maintained a strong friendship despite the fact that we rarely see each other. How is this possible? To this McKenna proposes several possible explanations:
Connecting to similar others: Throughout several online spaces, it is easy to immediately detect whether or not someone has similar interests as you do. Although we began talking several years ago, I distinctly remember that Louis and I were immediately able to talk to one another about music (probably due to an IM profile). Even though our conversations span a wide range of topics, the fact that we like similar music is definitely one of the more prominent factors in our friendship. For instance, if theres a specific concert he's going to, he's always sure to tell me about it. Had I not been immediately exposed to such information about Louis via the Internet, its possible our friendship would not have lasted as long as it has.
Identifiability: According to McKenna, in online spaces such as AIM, we are more likely to self-disclose when we interact due to increased anonymity. This increase in self-disclosure results in relationship development. With Louis and I, the fact that I went to a different high school and didn't know most of his friends greatly contributed to his willingness to tell me about various aspects of his life. Similarly, its always easier to reveal information about yourself when you are typing rather than talking. Over the years I have become somewhat of a confidant to him, and this has absolutely added to the strength of our friendship.
I suppose the reason I am using Louis as an example is because of the strength of our friendship. Unlike people I went to high school with and saw on a daily basis, I would see Louis once or twice a month, if that and still I probably know more concrete facts about him than about many people I graduated with. I contribute this largely to the facilitating factors previously discussed; it certainly is easier to reveal information about yourself to someone you (a) know you share common-ground with and (b) someone who isn't looking right back at you.
This week's comments:
http://comm245brown.blogspot.com/2007/09/4-shes-not-who-she-says-she-is.html
&
http://comm245brown.blogspot.com/2007/09/5-i-3-u-long-distance-relationships.html
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I think that's really cool that you and Louis are able to maintain such a strong friendship through mediated communication. I have a similar experience with one of my good friends from high school, who since we have left for college I feel we have become much better friends because it is so much easier to disclose information when we are not face to face. I think it's really interesting how even the relationships with the people you feel you can trust more than anybody else, and you would think you could tell anything to are still facilitated by McKenna's factors. It definitely says something about how unbelievably self-conscious we are as humans.
Post a Comment