For this assignment, I analyzed the relationship Debra and Dean Morell, featured in a NY Time article. Dean and Debra met online playing Ultima. They were immediately attracted to each other; Dean to Debra’s intelligence and altruism and Debra to Dean’s generosity. Their relationship became serious after a mutual friend told Debra that Dean was soon planning on leaving the game. The same mutual friend told Debra that she wanted to marry him off before his departure.
Debra thought that was a great idea and asked Dean to marry her. Dean, however, misunderstood Debra’s proposal. Instead of taking it as an invitation for their two avatars to marry, Dean thought Debra was asking him to marry her in real life. Dean’s reaction was positive. He “was so shocked and amazed… [because he] had always had feelings for Deb…it was just what [he] wanted to hear.”
That night, the two spent nine hours talking online. Additionally, they spent the next few days talking for countless hours online and sharing personal aspects of their lives. During that time, Deb’s character moved into Dean’s online house. Soon after, Dean and Deb met face to face. Because Deb had already planned to attend an Ultimate players’ luncheon in Seattle (Dean’s home town) she flew out a few days early to meet him. After their meeting, the two continued their online romance. Ultimately, they wed in an online ceremony attended. Shortly thereafter, Dean went online and asked Deb to marry him in real life. They have been happy together ever since.
Deb and Dean’s online-turned-offline romance is best explained in terms of SIP Theory. SIP rejects the view that the absence of nonverbal cues restricts the capability to exchange social info. Instead, according to SIP, nonverbal cues are adapted to the verbal channel. Because these cues must be typed and read, the transmission of information takes longer in CMC. Therefore, although slower, relational development should be sufficient in CMC over time, and face-to-face information should be superfluous.
This theory conforms to Dean and Deb’s experience. As the two spent more time online, they grew closer and more attracted to one another. Therefore, by the time they met offline, the transition was smooth and natural (each already had a solid grasp on the other’s personality.) Dean notes that “when you’re dealing with a virtual person, you’re building up a fantasy in your mind,” however, “as soon as [he] saw Deb, [he] knew the fantasy matched the reality.” Although their first impressions were limited, he communicated with Deb enough online that eventually their offline and online impressions were synonymous.
http://comm245brown.blogspot.com/2007/11/hyperpersonal-personals.html
http://comm245brown.blogspot.com/2007/11/11-awkward-silence.html
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2 comments:
Nice post. This story does seem to bolster SIP's claims, but I don't think Ramirez and Wang's theory is supported. Ramirez and Wang would say that when time spent online is long-term, a CMC-to-FtF transition yields more negative impressions. In this case, however, the transition seemed to make no difference in how Dean and Debra felt about each other.
Hey, nice post. I always thought it was weird how people meet online and eventually get married. But when it is all because of a game, it sounds even weirder. I also thought it was really funny that the girl asked the guy to marry her in the game, and he thought it was in real life. I think that you are right about SIP being the best model for this situation. Also URT might be accurate too, if they disclosed a lot of personal information about each other in their online interactions.
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