About a week before Fall Break last year I had posted on my Facebook that “Samantha is sad because everyone is going home for fall break and she isn’t” or something along those lines. I ended up receiving a message from a Cornell student saying how they were spending break in Ithaca too and suggested hanging out. We messaged each other back and forth on Facebook, then eventually moved to AIM. Fall Break came and went and we never met up, but we continued to chat online. We talked about all different kinds of things (sports, movies, family, etc.). By being on the same social network, increased identifiability lead to increased self-disclosure, promoting relationship development (“stranger in the crowd”). In person, I come off as very shy until you get to know me; so the CMC removed that gate. We were able to control how often and what type of media to communicate through. Having a common ground (similar interests) aided in our pursuit of the “goods” prior to meeting. (hmm, McKenna much?) Anyways, our friendship gradually grew through CMC, and I learned more about this person – changing my sketchy perception to an overall positive impression (similar to the Social Information Processing theory – my impression developed overtime). About six months after our first encounter online, we ran into each other on campus. It was weird because it was unexpected. At first we both looked at each other and realized that we “knew” each other, but we hesitated to acknowledge it. (I mean the whole “Aren’t we friends on Facebook?”…awkward!). So, we ended up not saying anything and just walked our separate directions. Later that week we talked about it online, discussed how we both felt awkward and decided to officially meet face to face. The following weekend we met for coffee. It was nice to finally match a voice and figure to this person I chatted with, but the intro’s were awkward because we already “met.” Every once in a while we see each other, but most of our friendship still remains in CMC, in part due to the fact our schedules don’t give us much leeway. This is consistent with SIP because our friendship developed/is developing overtime, but the information FtF had no real affect on the friendship. I didn’t form any particular positive or negative impressions from our meetings, but that also may be because they are brief.
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6 comments:
Good post, Samantha. I've had a few interactions just like this. Reading your post got me thinking about how indirect communication with others on CMC effects interactions in FtF - specifically, with people you technically haven't even met. For instance, we all have a few people who we are friends with on Facebook that, honestly, we have no memory of ever having met or of even accepting their invitation. If you don't believe me, just scan your friends page; they're there. And what do you do when you find these people? Well, you look at their profile and try to figure out how you could know each other and what prompted the friend request. At this point, it's highly likely that you've both studied each others profile and have seen enough of them on the newsfeed to possibly recognize each other walking about on campus. Your eyes meet or you brush shoulders and... nothing. You both know, but you can't say anything. Truly bizarre.
Samantha,
I really enjoyed reading your post. I feel as though many of us can relate to running into someone on campus that we know we're Facebook friends with and only manage to say, "Aren't we Facebook friends?" or nothing at all. You experience is all the more awkward, though, since you had been conversing with this person for an extended period of time. SIP definitely plays a role since your relationship is developing over time. However, I also wonder if SIDE has an affect since you felt "individuated" when meeting them in person.
Very interesting post, Samantha. Your experience matches up perfectly with Ramirez and Wang's study, as well. The switch from CMC to face-to-face took place after quite a long time and, and R & W predicted, there was a negative effect. It's interesting that you still prefer to keep the relationship online. It seems as though you've gotten so comfortable with that arrangement that it just feels awkward to change it.
Interesting post. I really liked how you tied in a bunch of concepts that we studied throughout the course to discuss how your relationship flourished in an online environment.
I am not sure, however, that SIP is exactly the correct theory that describes your relationship. SIP predicts that you pretty much have the same experience face to face as you would have online. Although you claim otherwise, it does seem as though you were somewhat let down face to face as the experience was awkward. Perhaps this does in fact fit with the hyperpersonal model.
It is interesting that despite these awkward encounters you still remain friends online.
I thought that was a neat little story and to be honest I think that happens a lot with facebook and social networking sites. You see people in photos or friends of a friend, or someone you have just had to communicate online with, but once you actually see them in face to face it can be awkward. This is just like Ramirez and Wang claimed. Leaving virtuality wasn’t so pleasant at first, but it’s nice that you were able to meet later.
Hey Samantha,
I really enjoyed reading your article. I say that quite often in blog comments, but I honestly thought that your post was exceptionally entertaining and well-written, and I found myself wondering what was going to happen of you two as I was reading it. It is interesting how these strange kinds of relationships can form online, yet don’t exist to the same degree in FtF interaction. Your experience followed the predictions of Ramirez and Wang, which stated that long-term online interaction may lead to a negative FtF outcome. Your outcome may not have been as negative as it was awkward, but it seems like you preferred talking in CMC with your friend that speaking FtF. Also, your FtF interaction did not put an end to your relationship as it did in many of the other blog posts I have read, so the outcome really may not have been so negative after all. Anyway, great job writing your blog post!
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