Back in 8th grade, I had a friend who was dating someone he had known when he was younger and who went to a different middle school than me. I got to know his girlfriend through aim, but more importantly, I was introduced to one of her friends (A) online. I quickly became good friends with A and for many months we would talk online almost daily. Yet all this time we never met in person. Finally, one night at a local dance, A came up to me and introduced herself. Shortly thereafter we began dating, but being 8th graders, our relationship was still mostly confined to the internet. We basically talked online daily and still almost never met in person. However, we continued to date until high school when we entered the same high school and had a few classes together. From this point on, our relationship was based in person. We talked a lot during the day in person and we hung out on weekends. We would still talk online, but it wasn't out main way of communicating anymore. Seeing each other in person helped our relationship, but later that year we broke up.
Looking back on our relationship, it was consistent with the Social Information Processing theory. This theory states that relationship development takes longer in CMC, but given enough time, impression formation should be the same as in FtF. Because we had talked online for so long before meeting, I knew A very well and I had a very good idea of what she was like. Then when I finally met her, my idea of what she was really like was confirmed and and my impressions were accurate.
Also, after talking to A online for the first time, I had some strong impressions of her. I thought she was a little uptight and nerdy. These strong negative impressions are consistent with the hyperpersonal theory. However, because I did talk to A much more in the near future, my impressions of her changed to my more accurate impressions later on.
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You’ve got to love the 8th grade relationships that transpire online…I’m impressed that your middle school relationship was able to withstand so long online. I’ve had experiences where I have clicked with a friend of a friend online, but when I met them in person, the transition is usually awkward. This happened a bunch of times at Cornell, but despite this I can confidently say that my experience does show that sometimes the Social Information Processing theory will hold true. I also agree with you on your evaluations on strong (negative) impressions being consistent with the hyperpersonal theory via CMC. A few people, who I’m glad to say are now my close friends, had their negative traits amplified online. After getting to know these people FtF, I discovered that their negative traits weren’t that bad (for the most part).
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