Tuesday, November 27, 2007

11: Do Yourself a Favor – Don’t Use Myspace to Find a Roommate


For this assignment, I chose to analyze my experience with my roommate from freshman year. After getting my acceptance letter here, there were a few months between the times everybody who got in early decision and the time we could access Cornell Facebook. During this time, many early decision-ers were populating Myspace, and this is where I met my roommate.

She (we’ll call her Lauren) seemed like the sweetest girl when I first met her. Lauren was from upstate New York, went to a private catholic school, played field hockey, and didn’t drink. We had a lot in common and hit it off right away. After a few weeks of talking on Myspace, and then on AIM, she brought up the awkward topic of rooming. We seemed to get along really well and she seemed like a really cool girl (despite the fact that she had applied to the engineering school), so I agreed and we decided to put in a room request together.

Eventually, we started talking on the phone, and I met up with her in New York City twice. I couldn’t have been happier with my decision; she was everything that she portrayed herself to be. When we got up to school, we had a great first month rooming together. After a month, Lauren started dating a guy down the hall who I really disliked. Dating him changed her completely, and she alienated everybody in our suite, including me. She transformed into this awful, nasty person, a person who I never knew online. Looking back now, my relationship with Lauren was clearly superficial; she ended up being a completely different person than who she portrayed herself to be online, and I complete regret rooming with her. I almost ended up moving out of the room because she was such an awful roommate (and person, for that matter).

My experience with my (thankfully) ex-roommate is not an uncommon one – I know plenty of people who ended up regretting rooming with someone they met online prior to school. The Hyperpersonal model fits best in analyzing my experience. I overattributed information I got via short conversations and connections on Myspace profiles to the type of person Lauren actually was. People lie constantly and mask their true personalities on the web, making it difficult, in retrospect, to make a good decision about whether or not a stranger is actually a kindred fit. While Lauren and I worked as roommates for about a month, in the long term, my overattribution to some of her (only) good qualities clouded my judgment, and allowed me to make a mistake in rooming with her.

Lesson learned here: be weary of a person’s true personality before rooming with them.

2 comments:

Nanditha said...

Nice post Rachel. I'm sorry that happened to you! It seems like your experience supported Ramirez & Wang's theory that meeting in FtF after a long term CMC relationship results in uncertainty-provoking and negative outcomes. You talked to your roommate for several months online but then the relationship deteriorated after you got to know her in person. It would be interesting to see if it has been studied how long it takes for this deterioration to occur after the modality switch. Some people seem to have these negative feelings after the initial FtF meeting while others, like you, are ok at first and then slowly become uncertain resulting in a negative outcome. Did Ramirez & Wang only intend for it to mean that after a long term CMC relationship that the initial FtF meeting would cause disappointment or that FtF over time would result in a negative outcome?

Chrissy Piemonte said...

Rachel,
Your post was both interesting and a great example of how first impressions can be completely different from reality. I think especially when it comes to finding a roommate, it is very difficult to find out who people really are, because in the beginning, everyone puts on their nicest faces, and someone who is a complete jerk could seem like a total sweetheart in the first few months. I'm sorry that you had to experience that situation; at least it's over now!