As I have never used a chat room before, I figured the best place to find one would be to Google chat rooms. What came up for me was a website called www.chat-avenue.com, and I was told to enter a personal username. When I got to the chat room, I simply typed (in pink font) "IM me if you want to chat".
Within seconds, I received a flurry of friendly IM's from screen names such as "Kenny" "bigman480" and "surferdude6969" all asking me the same important question:
"Kenny: asl?"
"19/f/ny," I replied, honestly.
Most of them replied with a reciprocal answer. I found it a strange coincidence that every single guy who IMed me happened to only be one or two years older than me, never any younger. I didn't believe that could be possible, and I think this could be selective self presentation. I weeded out many of the guys who started talking to me as more often than not, their next question after asking what color my hair and eyes were, went along the lines of "wanna cyber?". Because I was typing in pink font and labeled myself as a 19 year old blonde girl (really I have brown hair), the other guys in the chat room automatically assumed that I was flirty, cute and ready for a crazy online time even though they knew nothing about my personality or what I really look like. This goes along well with the social information processing method, which is where chatters adapt cues into the visual channel (in this case, my pink font) which must be typed and read, and then categorize somebody socially based upon the limited cues
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Eventually I began talking more with a chatter with the handle of wolfwood230; he was the only one who wasn't looking for something inappropriate.
wolfwood230: do you ever get lonely?
While this probably wasn't the most upbeat conversation starter, I felt bad for him and wanted to hear what he had to say. Wolfwood 230 explained to me that he was a junior at UChicago and hadn't managed to make very many friends. He lamented that he spent most of his time surfing the internet and going into chat rooms for company, as he couldn't find any in real life. I suggested to him that he join some clubs in school; and he said he was considering joining the Christian Fellowship. We continued to talk about shallow stuff such as our majors, not particularly much breadth in the conversation. Yet the initial part of the conversation, where he started off by asking if I was lonely and then spent some time talking about his social troubles, was very intense. Because wolfwood couldn't see my face and knew he would never meet me in real life, he probably felt as if he could say what he wanted to and be more himself. He could ask me questions he (probably) wouldn’t normally he would meet in a face to face interaction because he did not have to worry about rejection. If I decided that I did not want to talk to him anymore, he could just go back in to the chat room and find somebody else to meet. This also represents the hyperpersonal model to me as: much intensity without much breadth.
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4 comments:
Hey Hallie,
I found your experience similar to my own; as soon as I entered a chat room I was bombarded by private chat requests. Almost all of these requests ended with some type of sexual innuendo initiated by my chat buddy before I closed the chat box.
The two main conversations I ended up having were definitely held at a more superficial level than your conversation with wolfwood230. I’m surprised that this total stranger deemed it appropriate to confide some depressing (possible) realities to you without having ever met you. You make an excellent point about his potential reasoning; not having to worry about rejection, since your conversation wasn’t a face to face reaction, definitely lowered his inhibitions regarding how much he could tell you.
Overall, awesome post .
Rachel
Hey Hallie,
I find your experience in impression management very interesting. First of all, I admire your determination in staying in that chat room after your deterring experiences. I find it quite surprising that Woodwolf230 would ask such a deep, personal question after just having “met” you. First of all, since you were talking online, it was probably hard for him to continue or discontinue on the loneliness topic since he couldn’t see your facial expressions or other cues to let him know if he was finding a confidante, or creeping you out. On the other hand, as you said, since he did not know you, it would also made it easier for him to bounce ideas off of you without risking the consequences of face-to-face interaction, like recognition. The fact that he could so easily reach out to you demonstrates that his loneliness must be a pervading aspect of his life. Even with all the smut faced in chat rooms, I guess they are still a positive outlet for their users.
~Christina
Hallie,
I very much enjoyed reading your post. In particular, I love how you stated the conclusions that most of the guys online would come to based on your font color, your age, and your hair color. It is so interesting to see how people can categorize you as a 'flirty, cute and ready for a crazy online time' kind of girl based on those three facts.
Moving on to 'wolfwood230', this particular onliner seems like a perfect example of someone who hides behind his computer screen and reveals information about himself that he most likely wouldn't do in a face to face conversation. In many cases on the internet, anonymity is extremely dangerous. 'Wolfwood230', however, is a perfect example where the lack of personal identification involved in online communication is a positive factor. The fact that the internet allows some people to open up and talk to others about topics they don't normally talk about is great.
You covered many different categories in your post. It relates well to what we are studying in class and is always very enjoyable to read. Good job!
This is a very interesting post. It is amazing how large a role anonymity plays in the CMC world; it allows people to express what they are really feeling without suffering any sort of rejection. I completely agreed with you when you said that Wolfwood230 would have never asked some of the questions that he did if your were interacting FtF. The topics that you discussed would have probably been very inappropriate in real life, especially for two people who were meeting for the first time. Having a computer screen to block the non-verbal cues actually worked out pretty well for Wolfwood230. He had a chance to express himself without any fear of rejection. The same goes for all the other guys—they probably wouldn’t have acted the same way either if you were FtF. I liked how you tried to change your font color as well as your hair color in order to get a different feedback.
Oh yeah, your title is my favorite =) Thanks for sharing!
Ellis Weng
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